existence

today is the day the 'existence' started....
well, i never even hoped to live life this way.
but time runs so fast.. I have not yet achieved those plans i have wished for..
but slightly enjoying every experience i am experiencing every day.
happiness and loneliness, mixed together and came up with a brilliant perception..

I live everything not that seriously..

untitled

i don't know how to start this....
this certain moron who i have been anticipating since i was on lower grades. well, i really thought that he will be the one and the only one. maybe i was kinda shocked that time that what was on my mind was all those silly things. hmmmmm?.. but those so-called 'silly things' went on for almost 10 years. can you imagine that?. when i shared this feeling to some persons, almost of their comment was 'how can i keep my feelings that long'?.. (sigh..) does it make any sense to me?. . why would i keep on hoping to this certain moron who i never be friends with?. i don't even know him. bah?..
i closed my window to other dudes because of him. . . . Obssession right?.. whatcha think?.. it is a disorder!!!!!! but the QUESTION is.................. WHY DO I STILL HOPE??? i risked so many things for this. People who i used to consider as a 'family'. . they're gone now... But i didnt regret of loosing them. My dad, Uncle and brothers. (thats true!) nobody knows my whole story yet. my written journals, well, it is inc0mplete and scattered since an intruder came in to my cottage. with the initials J.T.T!!! i really hate her!.. together with R.P.T both of them i have wished to suffer in hell. I dont care if J.T.T doesnt believe in HELL!!. . They are now a part of my past! No matter what will happen! They are gone! totally GONE!.. and No longer EXIST!!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........! thngs changed so fast!.. just a blink, and everything has changed! ... i never wanted this, and never planned for this. . . but it is happening already.. and it keeps on happening.. SUCKS!!!!! I wish i can go advance and escape from all of these tragedies. .
Give any adjectives of what you think about me!!.. it is your opinion and you have the freedom!
i can manage.. My emotions often fluctuate. . . Maybe beacuse i have been thinking a lot lately. Stiffed with negative stuffs. . . But WHHHHYYY? do i keep on missing him and always think of him?. . I used not to believe on falling stars but now i am into it. Horoscopes?.. maybe...
but i cant promise to forget everything about this certain MORON... i will set him free if that's what he wants.. but i will always be here for him, no matter how hard to cross to an erupting volcano.. i will still be waiting for him

--Sen.Chiz Eascudero

when i had my last minute of adlib of my program the ''PLANET ROCK" ... My boss, sir Philip was there messing up my show. But i was happy when he told me to inform our fellow KABERKZ that sen. chiz will be visiting on our station..
WHOOOHAAATTTT??.. i was really shocked.. i even told my listeners that i was realyl! hmmm?
gee! on that night i wasnt able to sleep well beacuse of the excitement.. wew!!!!!!!
and finally.. i able to talk with my crush! hahaha!
yah! hes cute.. and i like him..

just a thought

You can't let other people's jealousy get you down. If they feel threatened by your success, that is their problem -- not yours. Your job today is to just keep on being smarter and faster. Once you stop caring about what other people are freaking out about, you'll feel a lot freer -- which in turn will help you be even better at what you do! Serve as a good example to others by being honorable and not getting down in the mud with someone full of envy.

Talking to a friend who has been acting out of character

They say that today is a good day to have a serious talk with a friend or loved one who has been acting out of character lately. Casually ask about what is new in their life and see what they say -- whatever i do, musn't accuse them of anything or push them to reveal things. They will open up when they feel like i aint going to judge them or get angry, not before. If they never spill their feelings, musn't take it personally. They just don't feel like sharing yet... And i received a text message from this dude earlier, asked me to meet him on the station. But the problem is, i dont really like him that much and i don't wanna talk with him, because i know what will be our topic. It's not that i am snob.. But i just dont want him to expect and to think that im an easy type of person. Well, i am really a friendly type of person, but some people will take advantage of my 'goodness' haha is that the right word? well, sounds like correct!.. anyways, this day.. it's totally different. There were things changed. Like my feelings? towards this person. i've been thinking about it lately, because i know this isn't right. SO i better stop this. Aint good to love someone and at the same time hurting somebody. ayt? Music can really help change things. . through it, i was able to meet this dude. it's blitz. we bceame friends beacuse we listen to the same music, and im a dj. .. he loves listening to me on the radio, and telling me how special i am even i am not. he make me feel so good when i hurt so bad. . its started with the 'collide' song. he is the first person who shared me that song without knowing that i have been dying to hear that. . maybe its only a coincidence. well, i cant really say that this is it.. But all i know, is that he also contributed much happiness in my life. . and i dont want him to go away.. and just want him to say he'll stay. But me and him? what's going on? All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong..

cutting out edges

Diplomacy skills came in handy today after facing this powerful person.
There is this person in my life who has been working on my last nerve and it's time for them to go. .. (wanted them really to be gone).. Stars told me that today is going to be the right day to tell them what i am feeling -- gently and with my trademark diplomacy skills, of course.. Should let my own compassion guide me through this tricky conversation and let them know that it's nothing personal, but I myself just need a break ( don't have to get specific as to why). Cutting out whatever is holding myself back in my life ..is liberating and healthy.. So what do you think about it?. Uhm, but there is also this big problem, and that is, i just can't explain to this another person how i feel, how i hate to be treated this way. I know, it's crazy! Maybe i am just too much afraid to take the risk right after what may happen?. well, i have seen this movie this afternoon. I can really relate. Because we do have absolutely the same character of the girl on the movie. Though, different situation. But still the same. And it's insane! ! It's not that i want to be different. It is just I don't see the point of trying to be like everyone else.
Besides, we all have different backgrounds and point of views. Different fav. colors and perceptions. So that's it. I dont mean that, all i can do is to bottle up my emotions with me. But, im ok after blowing everything on my journal notebook. Free writing can ease the pain.. It can make me feel better. . And when i look up to the sky and music of course!.. they just make me feel calm.. though sometimes i just have to cry out loud. (it's normal) ayt? life of mine is totally different. . and very crazy. . ME living on a Bitter Sweet World. . Trying to cut out edges..

my story

La vida techvoc
Seizing breakthroughs thru small ways
By: Gervacio C. Dauz, Jr.
TESDA Agusan del Norte Provincial Office

She was already wafting her way in college as an Education student in the most prominent school in Cagayan de Oro City known as the Xavier University. At that time, she knew that her university encounter was tough to surmount. But tougher still was that galling episode she had to go through in relation to the lady love of her dear father under one roof. Eventually, after hurdling three semesters, she had to pull her own plug and return home in Butuan City, to the embrace and solace of her mother, all because her relationship with her father’s “number two” his was crudely and intensely becoming mutually exclusive.

But instead of considering the event as a road block to her dreams in life, Debra Rutz Tanginan reckoned it with a grain of salt. Toughened by the storms of having to go through “la vida loca”, she briskly buckled down to taking up a post-secondary course, which is Household Services at the Butuan City Manpower Training Center. After finishing it, she took the licensure exam and emerged a victor with a National Certificate Level II to boost.

Still quenching for more knowledge and skills, she further consoled herself by taking up the English Proficiency Training at the Language Skills Institute of the Northern Mindanao School of Fisheries in Buenavista, Agusan del Norte under the PGMA-TWSP support. Little did she know that after finishing the course itself, several opportunities for employment started to open their doors for her.

As a sample, when she went to apply for employment at a Jobs Fair tendered by TESDA Agusan del Norte and the Association of TVET Schools in Butuan City and Agusan del Norte, she was instantly promised with a slot by Sykes Call Center in Makati City. But she declined, considering that she was already well on board as a part-time Disc Jockey of DXMK, a local radio station popularly known as Magic FM and airing at 97.5 frequency.

Right now, “Debrutz” – as she is fondly called and known in airwaves – is just a whisper away to her Station Manager of becoming a full time Disc Jockey of Magic FM. But she is still putting on hold said dangling opportunity; she is still snowed over by her other priority of finishing a Caregiver Course to broaden more her opportunities.

As of this time, she is just whiling away her time, feeling satisfied that she is getting droves of avid listeners and callers as the months go by.

But as a go-go lady, she desires that after finishing her current Caregiver Course, she would continue with a degree course, preferably Development Communication, Mass Communication or Journalism to improve more her knack in media.

Pondering over the recent positive developments that have come her way, she indicated that the most telling, “big bang” precursor to many of these myriad opportunities was when she seriously trained for 100 hours or about three weeks at the Language Skills Institute of TESDA.

Having improved her communication skills and grammar, and likewise gradually erasing her social phobia and metamorphosing into a confident, blooming lady, meeting and expanding social contacts, these are just some of the dividends she reaped out of said training.

At the bottom line, being transformed into a job-ready, job-fit specie is the best thing that has happened to her so far. And for this blessing, she is thankful to TESDA for igniting the flames and opening the doors. More so, she is thankful to her mother dear, kin and peers for being there during the rough sailing. Above all, she returns all the glory and praises to the Lord, “who owns the cattle on a thousand hills.”